The Gamemakers Enter the Games

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I hear the smallest little click and I freeze, my whole body tensing up. I feel my fingers creep slowly across the seam of my leather coat, stopping right over the pocket where my sheath of knives is tucked away. I am alone again, since my ally Jasmine Benton was killed by a poisonous beetle that bit her and made her suffer a long, agonizing death in my arms.  It has made me realize how important survival is. Being alone means that I only have one pair of eyes instead of the two that I so desperately want once again. Taking a panoramic gaze around me from up in the lush green tree reassures me that I am alone. Or am I? That’s when I hear another noise, but this time I can tell it is coming from the Northeast, facing the opposite way. After taking a look behind me, my eyes become glued to what practically makes me fall out of my 80 foot-high tree.

A wall of water is rushing straight at me, sucking in everything that it crashes into like a vacuum. I’ve heard stories about these things called tsunamis before, but I had never seen one. Although it is far away, maybe ten miles or so, I have a feeling in the pit of my stomach that it will be on top of me, sucking me into its depths before I know it. My head screams to run, but the rest of me is in shock. A rustle from the tree next to me snaps me back into reality and I slip and fall from my branch. Trying to grab onto the branches of the passing trees, I get a dozen bleeding cuts and scratches. Luckily, I had my camouflage backpack on with all of my supplies and it helped break my 80 foot drop from the tree. Hearing a sickening crunch and feeling a blinding pain in my right ankle sends black spots into my eyes, blocking my vision with a wall of darkness. Blindly, I get up and start to limp as fast as I can towards the southwestern part of the land, away from this deadly tsunami that I know will bring me an instantaneous death.

Finally, my brain starts to clear of its dense fog as I force myself into a light, painful jog. I mumble to myself, “Think Juniper… think!” as I approach a clearing in the thick jungle. I hurry towards it and stop to gasp a few precious breaths of air and I look up and gaze at the mountains surrounding me. A light bulb flashes into my head and I start to run as fast as my legs will take me, ignoring the severe pain and the feeling of the earth starting to emit a deep, low rumble. I approach a wall of rock and I fumble around my coat and take out two of my strongest and toughest knives. I force them into the small cracks in the terrain, pulling myself up with all of my strength, my body using all of its strength and energy. Right now, all I care about is survival. Finally, I reach a ledge that is fairly large and extremely high up and I give one last push with my shaky arms and tumble head over heels onto it. I force myself to not look down as I quickly scurry on my hands and knees over to a shallow cave facing towards the southern part of the arena, crawling into it. My ears are screaming with the sound of the approaching tsunami, the rushing water taunting me. Taking a deep breath, I close my eyes as tightly as I can, grasping my pack in between my knees and torso. A wall of water slams itself into the cave, knocking me down onto my back, a whirlpool of water, tossing me around. A few seconds later, I open my eyes to see a bright, clear blue sky through the blurry waves of water. My lungs are filled with water as I give one last sputtering breath before I completely black out, fainting into the deepest nightmares of what the future holds for me.


4 thoughts on “The Gamemakers Enter the Games

  1. This was very action-packed and exciting to read, you really described everything very well. I like the way you worded this: “I force them into the small cracks in the terrain, pulling myself up with all of my strength, my body using all of its strength and energy. Right now, all I care about is survival. ” There was so much going on in this post, I love how fast paced it was! the only thing that I would like to see is more setting and surroundings. Maybe you could have described the cave and the rocks you were bumping into.

  2. I really enjoyed your post and all of the description you gave! it was a little lengthy though. The posts are supposed to be no more than 304 of a page, so be aware of that for next time. I really liked this simile that you used in the second paragraph: A wall of water is rushing straight at me, sucking in everything that it crashes into like a vacuum.
    All in all, I thought your post was well written.

  3. I loved reading this! I think you captured the mood of panic that one would feel in a tsunami which your descriptions of blindly running and seeing the wall of water. I also loved how you captured the suddenness of tsunamis by describing how your character was feeling before the tsunami and how it interrupted her thoughts and took control. Also, I think your piece improved a lot since the last one with attention gripping opening and closing. Especially your closing: “My lungs are filled with water as I give one last sputtering breath before I completely black out, fainting into the deepest nightmares of what the future holds for me.” sets the scene AND I LOVE IT! I noticed a few comma errors though like in this sentence : “I hear the smallest little click and I freeze, my whole body tensing up.”, I think making it “and my whole body tensed up” would work better. GREAT JOB! 🙂

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